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Misplaced Hope
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12, NLT Have you ever been so disappointed by life that you have felt physically ill? Have you ever felt so let down, so disgusted by the cards that life has dealt you that you felt like giving up and throwing in the towel? Maybe you worked hard to make a relationship work and it fell apart. Maybe you gave hours of your time, energy, passion, and devotion to a job or a business or a ministry, and now you find yourself unemployed. You gave, poured out, invested, and committed yourself and all your…
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Steadfast
The word that keeps rolling around my brain these days, the one that means the most to me when it comes to describing God’s character, is steadfast. In my times of meditation and quiet before God, this is the facet of His character that shines through. It means: stead·fast ˈstedˌfast/ adjective resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering. “steadfast loyalty” In an ever changing world, where nothing is ever certain or secure, this sounds refreshingly welcome, doesn’t it? What I keep hearing, and what keeps being communicated to me through the air waves is that God is resolutely, dutifully firm, and loyal in His love towards me and His plans for…
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What Becomes of the Broken Hearted
I just googled How to Live With a Broken Heart. A few years ago, I would have googled How to Recover from a Broken Heart. Or How to Bounce Back. How to Overcome. Basically, How to Get Over It Already. But now I am not so sure we are meant to “Get Over it.” Disappointment, death, and loss are a part of our world. What if they are not meant to be overcome but incorporated? I mean, does a person ever “recover” from the death of a loved one? No, we do not. It becomes a part of us and then we find a new way to navigate through darkened,…
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When You’re a Fighter, Not a Lover
I love Shauna Niequist. Maybe in a kind of stalker-ish way. I adore her writing and her recipes. I am a huge fan of her dad, Bill Hybels, her mother Lynne, and the amazing ministry they have accomplished all together at Willow Creek. Their family truly inspires me. I have seen Bill talk 3 times in person, and every.single.time, I sob like a baby. And I absolutely loved this post written by Shauna. The problem I have with it, though? I couldn’t relate to it. After reading it, I felt like I was from another planet. Let me explain. I am, by my very nature, a fighter. I was an…
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Bloom Where You’re Planted
Beautiful, happy tulips on display at Biltmore. Lord, why couldn’t I be planted at Biltmore? I currently reside in a small town in Georgia. And by small, I mean the population is less than 15,000. My husband and I have lived here for almost 13 years. It’s the longest I have ever lived in one place in my entire life. But I haven’t always loved it. You see, we moved here to help a friend start a church – in another city. We chose this small town, simply because of its proximity to work (Athens) and where we would be doing ministry (Buford), and we chose the town smack…
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Why write?
I often wonder what compels me to cut open my veins and bleed all over this keyboard that sits in front of me. I apologize for that graphic image. But for those of you who are acquainted with the metaphor, often attributed to Ernest Hemingway, you know that I am talking about the craft of writing. What possesses me to share with total strangers all my fears, my hopes, my dreams, my parenting adventures (and struggles), my political frustrations, my theological meanderings? Do I have an insatiable desire for attention? Well, maybe… Honestly, though, I think it is something else. I think it is how writers are wired. I think…
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Steadfast
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Finding Joy in the Mourning
There is something about heartbreak that teaches us more about love, than love alone ever can. There is something about living in darkness that makes us long for light. There is something about being lied to that makes the truth, once we hear it, that much clearer. There is something about living in bondage that makes the taste of freedom that much sweeter. I don’t know why it has to be this way. But for light to come. For truth to come. For change to come. And for love to come – there is always pain. Our very lives begin and end with it. Being born and then dying. Pain…
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And the Two Shall Become One
After being married to the same person for 17 years, I am beginning to understand why marriage is so important to God, so sacred. In a world full of disposable relationships, ghosting and unfriending have become our go-to methods of relationship management. We pick people apart; god-breathed, beautiful, and fearfully made souls, discarding and shelving them for the most arbitrary of reasons. Oftentimes we take the easy way out. To stick with someone through all of their junk is just plain hard. Sometimes even impossible. And when something feels impossible or even just a little too hard, we are tempted to give up. If you have been through a divorce,…
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Weakness is Strength
I used to think that when I prayed for God to give me strength in my weakness that He would somehow infuse me with a kind of strength magic, and I would feel my spiritual muscles cartoonishly growing, like Popeye after eating a can of spinach. Now I know. I know that when I pray for strength it means: When I am hurting I can have the guts to admit it. I can cry instead of getting angry and lashing out. Instead of denying my feelings I can admit them. Instead of pretending I can tell the truth. When I have a need I tend to it, and I don’t…
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No Clue
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, NLT) I’m going out on a limb here to make an earth-shattering confession: I have no idea what I am doing. I am staring at 40 years old. I’ve been married for almost 17 years. I’ve been raising children for almost…
