Finding Joy in the Mourning

There is something about heartbreak that teaches us more about love, than love alone ever can.

There is something about living in darkness that makes us long for light.

There is something about being lied to that makes the truth, once we hear it, that much clearer.

There is something about living in bondage that makes the taste of freedom that much sweeter.

I don’t know why it has to be this way. But for light to come. For truth to come. For change to come. And for love to come – there is always pain.

Our very lives begin and end with it.

Being born and then dying.

Pain itself is not our enemy. Pain is life. And pain can either lead us away from God or to God.

Our deepest pain can be a catalyst for growth, love, light, and goodness. We can be a conduit through the pain, letting the love, grace, forgiveness, and compassion of God flow through us. Or we can clog it up, letting anger overtake us. Stalling us like a broken down car under a tarp, in the front yards of our hearts.

You see, anger is one of the stages of grief. It is a necessary step.

It’s ok to be angry. There is plenty to be angry about.

Injustice. Hatred. Abuse.

Go ahead and get angry. You have every right.

But if we stay here, and let it sit with us too long, we stop feeling anything else BUT anger. It is a powerful force that can over take us.

Beloved, we cannot stay here.

Go to the next step in the grieving process. Whatever that may be for you.

Bargaining. Depression. Eventually, hopefully, landing softly, quietly on acceptance.

Let your hearts be truly broken. Fully broken. It’s ok to mourn. It’s ok to weep. And long for the the things that should be. That could have been.

To be truly heartbroken is to be fully human.

And Christ, the God in human flesh, was fully human.

We do not have a God that is far away from our suffering. Christ understands our suffering. Our pain. Our rejection. Our abuse. For He Himself was rejected and abused.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

We must pick ourselves up off the ground when life beats us up and knocks us down. We must get back up and live. Stronger than we did before. Against all odds. Facing the darkness and the hatred and the heartbreak this world has to throw at us with every ounce of strength that we can muster.

And then some.

And we must call upon a higher power, the name of Jesus, to help us stand. It will be too much to bear alone.

And we must call upon others to stand with us. But even then sometimes we must even stand alone.

And we believe. And we pray. And we become a force for God and fight for goodness and hope. And love. And grace. And we become a conduit for, a living example of the LOVE that we want to see in this world.

We become the light that we so desperately want to see. We show that grace when we are faced with Hell on earth. And we embody the compassion that we long to see exemplified in our own lives.

We do to others as we would have them do to us. Even when it hurts.

Even when they curse us. Even when they hate us.

Because this is God. This is Christ.

Let them curse. Let them hate. I will not take part. I will walk with my Savior, side by side, daily and continuously asking for strength. And sometimes I will stumble. But I will never be utterly cast down.

I will not give up on love. I will not stop fighting for it. So help me, God.

Call me naive. But I have seen the alternative. I have seen others so locked up with fear and anger, with hatred and prejudice, that it has shipwrecked their entire lives. I do not wish to follow in their footsteps. I have lived inside a prison of my own hatred of oppression and abuse, and I was blind and could not see God. That prison was filled anger, hatred, unforgiveness, bitterness, fear, and resentment.

A living Hell.

And I will no longer make my bed there.

God, if this world wants to break our hearts over and over again, YOU be the One that heals us. YOU be the One that strengthens us. YOU be the One that we follow. The example who screamed at the top of His lungs as He was being crucified, “Forgive them, Father. They know not what they do.”

Because YOU are love. And LOVE wins. Every time.